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Press '0' for the Funniest Call-Center Laughs in the History of Customer Service
"I don't know where you live, but I live in New York! This city is too busy to remember to pay a bill!"
Representative: "May I speak to Susan?"
Customer: "I'll have to get back to you. I'm not her."
Your call is important to Crystal Smith. Your excuse for not paying your cell-phone bill? That's priceless.
After years spent in the trenches of phone-billing call centers, Smith rounds up the most hilarious, goofiest, and just plain weirdest statements from customers with this lively, laugh-out-loud book. You'll meet the caller who wonders why the representative can't take a cash payment-over the phone. There's the one who threatens that if a service interruption kills her, she'll sue-after she's dead. Then there are all sorts of excuses, whines, and pleadings when it comes to late payments. Did you hear the one about being in a coma for three months-and that's why the bill didn't get paid? (Somehow, the phone kept dialing the whole time.) Or how about the bright idea that paying just a fraction of the bill every month is enough to keep the line open? And that's just for starters.
The scary part is, they're all true-taken verbatim from actual customer calls. But for Crystal Smith and thousands of other call-center and customer-service workers, they're all in a day's work. That's why "Where's My Mute Button?!" is required reading for anyone who's ever worked a headset-and the customers who would like a rare glimpse into their poorly understood world. Is there anything else we can do for you today?
